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Phil Rudd Statements
Okay, I stole this idea from the maidenfans.com forums. They have "Adrian Smith Statements" and I thought it would be fun to do the same for Phil Rudd. The rules are: 1. No copies of Chuck Norris jokes (The Adrian Smith Statements started long before Chuck Norris Facts) only original creations. 2. You must write his full name (not just Phil) I'll start: Phil Rudd can move so fast that he reaches his destination before he leaves his current location. Phil Rudd can change the oil in his car by merely snapping his fingers, but he doesn't: he makes Simon Wright change his oil. Phil Rudd can beat over fifty thousand 5-year-olds in a fight. Phil Rudd is El Chupacabra. Phil Rudd can take out the garbage by merely snapping his fingers, but he doesn't: he makes Tony Currenti take it out. Phil Rudd played the solo on Cant Stand Still, then started the rumor that Malcolm Young did it. Phil Rudd can wash the dishes by merely snapping his fingers, but he doesn't: he makes Chris Slade wash them. Phil Rudd can write computer programs in 37 different programming languages, including 4 that nobody else knows. Gutzon Borglum attempted four times to carve the face of Phil Rudd into Mount Rushmore, but failed each time as the stone itself refused to hold such a graven image. Phil Rudd is larger than himself. Phil Rudd can vacuum his carpets by merely snapping his fingers. This he does, because he's making Dave Evans mow the lawn at the same time.
Phil Rudd can keep a beat better than you. I love this game.
Phil Rudd wrote the lyrics to Back In Black,and then let everyone think it was Brian. Phil Rudd doesn't wipe his own ass,Simon Wright does it for him. Phil Rudd can piss around corners. Phil Rudd can light a smoke with no hands. Phil Rudd thinks drum solos are for pussies. Phil Rudd grew out his badass sideburns because your mother told him too. Phil Rudd can drum,smoke,sleep,drink and kick Chris Slade's ass,all at the same time. __________________________________________________________ This is fun,lol!!
The sun never sets on Phil Rudd. Phil Rudd doesn't wait on hold for the phone company, they wait on hold for him. Phil Rudd audits the IRS. If you have to ask, only Phil Rudd knows. Phil Rudd invented the concept of a band, because he was tired of playing every instrument himself. Phil Rudd created the bass guitar so Cliff Williams would also have an instrument to play. Phil Rudd wears golf gloves because if his skin were to touch any instrument, the sound produced would kill all living things. Phil Rudd can tie his shoes... with his feet. Phil Rudd smells like teen spirit, or maybe that's the kerosene he drank for breakfast. Phil Rudd is single-handedly responsible for the post-WWII baby boom. Phil Rudd created the sun so it can shine on him while he plays drums. Phil Rudd is the reason you lose socks and staplers. Thou shalt not question why Phil Rudd needs your socks and staplers. Phil Rudd can divide by zero. Phil Rudd can compose a drum solo even he couldn't play. Then he would proceed to play the solo in celebration. That being said, Phil Rudd is beyond playing drum solos altogether. Phil Rudd is brighter than a thousand suns. Phil Rudd is feared by fear itself. God prays to Phil Rudd. Gravity is an illusion. Stuff falls to the ground because Phil Rudd prefers it that way. Time is also an illusion. Phil Rudd created it to measure the length of his songs. Eyjafjallajökull erupted because Phil Rudd's private jet was in maintenance. If Phil Rudd can't fly, no one can. Jesus is the son of God and God is the son of Phil Rudd. In 1983, Brian Johnson said he wanted to leave AC/DC. Phil Rudd said in reply "Not if I leave first!" Phil Rudd once visited Britian. He decided he wanted to drive on the left side of the road and everyone else followed out of fear. Phil Rudd is paid a royalty on every calculator ever sold. Don't ask why, the truth would blow your mind. When Phil Rudd returned to AC/DC in 1994, he made it known that he would not play any songs from when he was gone. Not because he couldn't, but because if he did, Simon Wright and Chris Slade would spontaneously combust whilst doing his lawn maintenance. Every time Phil Rudd plays Thunderstruck, Chris Slade loses another hair. Phil Rudd controls the setlist simply by gazing at Malcolm. Phil Rudd can win the Tour de France every time it's run, but the stopwatch that can record Phil Rudd's time hasn't yet been made. Only Phil Rudd could create such a stopwatch, but he can't be bothered to. Phil Rudd can play guitar better than Angus or Malcolm Young, he just chooses not to. Phil Rudd technically does not age, he just makes himself look older because he is fascinated by mortality. Phil Rudd has won golf games by getting the highest number of strokes. Brian Johnson lost his voice in 1994 because Phil Rudd decided the band's greatness upon his return would be too awesome for mortal recording devices to record. Bon Scott died because he crossed Phil Rudd. Although the band knew this, they started the rumor of "death by acute alcohol poisoning" so as not to endanger their own lives. Phil Rudd's alter ego is Phil Rudd. The Boogeyman's children check under their beds for Phil Rudd. The Jack, Leroy Kincaid, Night Prowler, C.O.D., Rising Power, Landslide, Badlands, Fly on the Wall, D.T., The Ace, Heatseeker, Meanstreak, The Furor, The Boogie Man, The Honey Roll, and Big Jack are all aliases of Phil Rudd. Phil Rudd created the drums as but one way for mankind to experience his awesomeness. The songs Danger, If You Dare and Send For The Man are about Phil Rudd. No human being could utter Phil Rudd's real full name without facing the consequences. Phil Rudd was approached to be in the movie "The Expendables", but wisely declined for the safety of the cast; Phil Rudd doesn't act in fight scenes, he fights for real. Phil Rudd hung the munchkin in the background of The Wizard of OZ as a warning... CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.
The sun only dares set when Phil Rudd goes to bed. That being said, Phil Rudd does not need sleep.
"Phil Rudd grew out his badass sideburns because your mother told him too." Nobody tells Phil Rudd what to do. The truth of why Phil Rudd grew out his sideburns would blow your mind. Phil Rudd has smoked illegally inside every venue AC/DC has ever played. Seventeen venue officials have died from the sheer terror of the thought of confronting him. Phil Rudd created Woman to redirect Man's lust for him.
I take my comment back, LOL times a million!
Phil Rudd was supposed to be the original god of earthquakes due to his drumming ability. He missed the meeting for a audition with AC/DC so they gave it to Poseidon.
Technically, he didn't "miss" the audition; he could have been in both places if he so chose. And technically, it wasn't an "audition". The term "audition" suggests that somebody had a choice surrounding Phil Rudd. Not a chance.
The only person who can drum better than Phil Rudd is himself. That being said, nobody can drum better than Phil Rudd.
"Phil Rudd grew out his badass sideburns because your mother told him too." Nobody tells Phil Rudd what to do. The truth of why Phil Rudd grew out his sideburns would blow your mind. __________________________________________________________ Phil is a ladies man,he grew them out to be even cooler than his previous coolness,so much cooler that if he were any cooler he'd be himself. Phil Pleases The Ladies With His Sideburns FACT. (after he slaps them down with his steady right hook,and smokes with his left)
Phil Rudd has enough power in his arms to keep the lights on the planet running for a month straight. But he doesn't because the sun felt left out so Phil gave him the job. Phil Rudd has kept the sun from going nova because Phil still needs light to see the awesomeness he creates with his arms. Phil Rudd, enough said.
Phil Rudd did NOT hit his ex-wife on a fishing boat. This was merely a rumor because if Phil Rudd ever laid his hands on a woman, she would either have an instant orgasm, or die. Which, of course, would be up to him. Phil Rudd started the rumor that he opened a helicopter business when he left AC/DC to cover up his involvement in the Legion of Doom. Phil Rudd is the most interesting man in the world. He needed an actor to play him in the "Dos Equis" commercials because every time they turned a camera to his face, it melted.
I wasn't making any reference to him hitting his ex-wife dude,lmao. I've never even heard that one until now. Although he would smack her if he felt it was necessary ;p
I wasn't saying you did. That was a statement totally unrelated to what you said. And yeah I guess what happened was he got into a fight with his wife over alimony when she came to pick up their kids after a fishing trip. He either hit her or pushed her into the water, I can't remember but she was fine and I guess when they went to court he successfully argued that any jail time would be overly harsh punishment because of how it would affect his career. So he ended up having to pay her some ridiculous settlement. That being said, Phil Rudd does not need mortal possessions like money.
I live not far from Phil. I've even stood on his boat, it's huge!! I might upload some photos one day...
Impossible. Phil Rudd is all knowing. He would have killed you exactly three seconds before you even had the opportunity to think about touching his boat. Also, Phil Rudd's boat is not just huge, it's dimensions are inconceivable to the human mind.
Sharks have dedicated an entire week to Phil Rudd. The most interesting man in the world commercials are loosely based on Phil Rudd's weekend outings.
"Sharks have dedicated an entire week to Phil Rudd" I saw that one on a beer commercial,but still funny lol!
Yeah, that was from the "Most Interesting Man In The World" commercials. Phil Rudd does NOT like statements being re-written to be about him.
Phil Rudd created the shock system for cars because he was tired of hearing people complain about his drumming destroying cars when they played AC/DC albums.